I am doing Great

What the f..k is he talking about?- this from friends who felt they have an obligation to relay a running commentary on my life which means nothing to them but time ticks, minutes become hours, beer cans get trashed, and off they go to join their families, having some story to tell. Otherwise they become the story and they are well aware of what is coming .

I don't need to deconstruct my life, point out my own follies, don't feel compelled to explain myself, if things happened right in my life, I don't need anyone to second me, if I screwed up- so what. Hey this is my life and no one has proprietorship over it. So shut the f..k up and find things that your presence can make a difference. People, friends, acquaintances, co workers and my FB friends who I love dearly have all given their two cents to make my living worthwhile. It is so heartwarming. But nothing said did ever make a dent. They are hoping their lives don't turn up in the category of also rans, their lives are not as miserable, but miserable enough and the smiles are long forgotten unless trained and end up begging their wife/husband and kids to put up one more time so they don't suffer the humiliation and misery which come to the forefront and wipe away their stronghold belief that their success in one field alone is not a reflection of who they are. A painful reminder.

“The fundamental flaw in our life model is that we surrender too much to others to mean much in our lives. Others don't mean a dime to us in true sense,”.- Padmanabhan Venkatraman.

Nearing the latter part of what is left in my life, I decided to cut the chord. (too late in my own thinking but nevertheless). I had been a fool to follow the dictums of fate, made bad choices, worked hard to raise myself from rags to riches, felt lonely in a crowd when the laughters and happiness shared in parties sounded so out of my realm, when people pulled me to address the crowd or entertain them, it was like using my fingernails on a blackboard and the screeches is all that I could hear but the laughter that erupted made me believe that it happened in two worlds.

Believe that you are worthy of a human being and you are no less different in God’s eyes. If you judge yourself by other’s standards, then your very existence is called into question.

Can you love, help, empathize and also screw up, get beat up and left for dead. And if you only get to wake up, Man, the righteous ones better get ready for their once in a lifetime experience. They sure will need your help, as they know not of what it is to be down and get up. Show them the way.

I have over years in my therapy and counseling sessions with my patients, found people having regrets but not one taking pride for their failures in their life situations. I have had difficulty understanding that those who failed easily coped out instead of standing their ground and saying “Based on what I knew then, I wouldn’t have made a change”, even the failure is a bad judgment made on people whose ignorance as simply put, not knowing anything better.

Search for the inner happiness, and if you find it, don’t share. Just raise your middle finger.

~Kripa.